love, love, love, love, love....love.

Today was the first time I’ve been to church in about three Sundays. I’ve come to realize that is three Sundays too long. I’ve also let myself go as far as eating healthy and exercising. I had a pretty good routine going while living at my other apartment. But i know it’s been the holidays and schedules and routines have been altered and while that’s really no excuse, it’s the truth. I should be able to keep a routine in eating and exercising no matter what’s going on in my life. So, my goal is to get my health and spiritual life back on track. I haven’t been talking to God lately and after going to church today, I’ve realized how much I need Him. When I leave church I always feel so vulnerable and happy about it. I feel like I want to be a better person, improve on the things that I have been lacking in, wanting to discover and develop the things I don’t have a lot of strength in or confidence to find. I want to be able to put myself out there in the world and be something. I know that what I’m doing right now, i’m important, but all of what I’ve acquired has almost been handed to me on a plate in terms of jobs. I mean I might be shorting myself a little credit because I’ve excelled at those jobs and kept them but I guess I just don’t understand the situation that i’ve put myself into. It’s not a bad one, just not how I envisioned I guess. In church today, we talked about spiritual gifts and more specifically service. Pastor Chris was talking about some people in our church who have that gift and who serve unselfishly and give up their time without a second thought. They serve because serving means love. And loving is the most important thing we are to be doing. More recently I’ve been having an itch and burning desire to get the word “love” tattooed on my body...my temple...that God has blessed me with. I think that it has become so apparent to me that I need to love, love, love...no matter how difficult it is at the time. I’ve been trying to be more aware lately. The way I interact with people. Searching for ways to improve. Soon, it will be a new year and with that year, new things are coming. I will be hoping for a lot of growing and new opportunities. I will also be praying that God will guide me in everything I do. Or maybe I should be praying for the strength to LET God guide me. Who do I think I am anyways? lol. :) Cheers and happy new year!